Fighting at the White House as fighting ends in Iran

T he lightning did not strike. The June night – the 14th, 2026, for the record, marking 80 years in the life of Donald J Trump – brewed with the hot, treacly intimations of a storm but the birthday boy’s luck held, as it always holds, so even though the sky turned purple, the guests sitting on the South Lawn of the White House remained dry as they sat in their finery to watch the premier cage-fighters in the game go at it on the front lawn.

“Human cockfighting” was the damning dismissal handed to UFC by the late John McCain, the Republican who ran against Barack Obama in 2008. It was a condemnation that Dana White, who guided the mixed-martial-arts cult from notoriety to the mainstream, has never forgotten. This night marked a full circle moment for White, whose long friendship with Trump culminated in this strange circus: a seven-card fight under the banner of UFC Freedom 250 in front of America’s most sacred building.

As ever with Trump, the event has caused a deep and profound division among Americans. To many millions, the mere thought of what is a highly commercial and highly violent combat sport on the front lawn of the White House was nothing short of a grotesquerie. On Saturday, the UFC had temporarily appropriated the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to conduct a press conference, filled with testosterone grunts and threats, while the marble version of Honest Abe sat behind them. The entire weekend was a breathtakingly strange and typically Trumpian combination of heavy patriotic symbolism, commercialism and a faint sense of walking through someone else’s dream.

“It’s surreal,” proclaimed Joe Rogan, the influential podcaster and long-time UFC advocate, on the official broadcast.

“It’s so amazing. The energy is in the air. We’re outside. We thought it might be called for rain but we’re good. The whole thing is nuts.”

Fireworks go off ahead of the final bout during the UFC Freedom 250 mixed martial arts event on the South Lawn of the White House. Photograph: Saul Loeb/Getty Images

It was a bit, not least because Trump had dashed off yet another social media post proclaiming that “The Deal with the Islamic Republic is now complete” – a birthday present to the world in general.

“Congratulations to all!” he encouraged before claiming to have authorised the “toll free opening of the Strait of Hormuz”.

“Ships of the world, start your engines!” he wrote, invoking the old UFC chant.

Whatever about cake and bubbles, the guests were treated to a parade of extremely ripped cage fighters who emerged from the Truman balcony; walked through the strobe lights and red, white and blue lights of that transformed South Lawn; strip down to their gladiator shorts; and go mano a mano in the Octagon. After a meaty version of the Star Spangled Banner, a military flyover.

The 600-tonne claw that framed the White House flashed the colours of the US and dominated the imperious architecture of downtown Washington. Some 5,000 guests were on the South Lawn, surrounding the cage. Another 20,000 UFC fans were clustered on the Ellipse, the big green area directly behind the White House.

Dylan Patterson flew up from Tennessee with two friends of his. “I got two buddies in Washington in the army and they got us tickets,” he said.

“This is a once-in-a-lifetime event. I don’t want to make it political at all. But last night was the most American thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. They shot off fireworks behind the Monument singing Born In the USA. Just the most American thing I’ve seen.”

Patterson cradled his beer and gave a low chuckle when asked if he was here to celebrate the big birthday also.

“I’m here for the event. Trump turning 80 ... he’s doing an okay job but politicians, either party, they don’t care about the middle man. You make less than a million a year and they don’t care about you.

“Hear me out,” he continues.

“Liberals are pushing for healthcare for everybody. I agree with healthcare for everybody. If you can pass a drug test. And if you can prove you are a citizen. It should be an American right to have healthcare for everybody. Why do I want to pay for you to go to the doctor if you are going to get high on cocaine all day? Now, weed’s a little different. I don’t smoke weed. But weed’s a little different. But we need to get somebody in office who doesn’t care about inside. I don’t know who that is. We all thought it was Trump at first. That’s why every Republican voted for Trump – because he was not a politician. And he has become one. So bad. You need someone to run for office who doesn’t care about money.”

US president Donald Trump gestures as he attends UFC Freedom 250 on the South Lawn of the White House. Photograph: Evan Vucci/Reuters/Bloomberg

You didn’t have to spend very long at the Ellipse to appreciate that the event was extraordinarily well orchestrated and presented. White managed to combine the kitschier elements of wrestling with the bloodlust promise of boxing to create, in two decades, a hybrid f…