Want to be more patient? Try these six expert-backed tips

Carolyn Todd

June 19, 2026 — 5:00am

Many of us feel impatient more often than we’d like. Sitting stuck in traffic when you’re already 15 minutes late. Waiting in line when you need to grab lunch quickly before rushing back to work. Fuming while on an interminable hold with customer service.

What we’re missing in these moments is patience, a seemingly rare resource in today’s fast-moving world. While patience often feels so elusive in the moment, the good news is that it isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a skill you can get better at.

Here are some expert-backed strategies that can help.

Work frustrations are relatable, but rarely lead us anywhere useful. Getty Images Take a few deep breaths

It’s hard to feel patient when you’re caught up in stress, anger, or anxiety, says Sarah Schnitker, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University who studies patience. When you’re feeling overwhelmed with these emotions, it can be more difficult to remember those tips you read about being more patient.

“Once you get into that stress cycle, it can be hard to realise, ‘Oh, I do have tools I can use,’” Schnitker says.

So a good first step when you notice impatience arising is to take slow, deep breaths, Schnitker says. It sounds too basic to work, but it does. Research shows this simple practice activates your nervous system’s relaxation response.

Evidence points to diaphragmatic breaths, extended exhales and box breathing – where you breathe in, hold, exhale and hold for an equal number of seconds – as the best breathing exercises for that calming effect.

Breathing can help to plan for specific scenarios where you often lose patience, Schnitker adds. For example, “When my child is taking a long time to put on their shoes in the morning, I’m going to take three deep breaths before I respond.”

Create some psychological distance

One of the most effective ways to increase patience is a technique Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director of the Greater Good Science Centre at the University of California at Berkeley, calls “zooming out”.

Ask yourself if you’ll still be upset about what’s currently happening in a month. “If you zoom way out, it becomes a small blip in the grand scheme of your week, your year, your whole life,” she says.

Research suggests that creating this type of psychological distance from your current experience can calm your nervous system and relieve stress, Simon-Thomas says.

For example, say your flight gets delayed several hours. In that moment, remind yourself: “If someone asks you in a month how your trip was, you’re not going to say, ‘Oh, I can’t remember anything except that my flight was delayed three hours,’” Simon-Thomas says.

You can also zoom out spatially, she adds. Visualising the entire airport from above, for example, helps you step outside of yourself and consider everyone else’s experience – perhaps prompting you to give a little more grace to the passenger in front of you at security who is taking forever to collect their items.

Children can be a unique source of frustration, but some small mindset tweaks can help. Getty Images Shift from ‘I have to’ to ‘I get to’

The lens of gratitude widens your attention to see what’s good about even a seemingly frustrating scenario, Simon-Thomas says. “You’re shifting the perspective from ‘How come I don’t have this situation that I want? ‘ to ‘How fortunate am I that I have this situation? ’ ”

For times in your day where you’d really like to be more patient and present because it’s something that truly matters to you – like taking care of your child or pet – try to reframe the task as a privilege.

“The framing of it shifts how you experience that time,” says Cassie Mogilner Holmes, a professor at the UCLA Anderson School of Management and author of Happier Hour: How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most .

One quick way to do this: Swap “I have to” for “I get to”. Take that flight delay, for example. You might say to yourself, “I get to get into this metal tube and travel huge distances in a short amount of time? What a miraculous opportunity,” Simon-Thomas says. Waiting three extra hours starts to seem like less of a burden.

Or consider the task of putting your kids to bed, Mogilner Holmes offers. If you see the bedtime routine as something to just get through, then every little delay becomes frustrating. If you see it as a precious opportunity – because soon enough, your kids will be able to put themselves to bed – the time becomes something to savour.

“This makes us realise that these everyday things we move through mindlessly are actually these beautiful moments,” Mogilner Holmes says.

Practicing gratitude on a regular basis (with a gratitude journal, for instance) also makes it more accessible in moments of impatience, Simon-Thomas adds.

Try mindfulness meditation

If impatience comes from trying to rush to the next thing, then the direct antidote is settling into the present.

“Presence allows us to act…