I Tried a Popular Hack for Getting a Good Night’s Sleep With My Husband. He Was Hesitant at First, But It Worked Wonders.

Dear Prudence

Prudie replies to readers’ comments and suggestions.

Advice by

Jenée Desmond-Harris

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June 19, 2026 6:00 AM

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Each week, Prudence  asks readers for their thoughts  on the letters she’s received. Her reply will be available every Friday.

Hey Prudie,

Re Too Close for Comfort: Four years into our marriage, I insisted we ditch the duvet.

Now have two identical twin comforters. I was losing so much sleep thanks to Husband the Blanket Hog. He thought it was weird at first, but accepted that I was the one whose sleep was suffering, and jumped in.

I also know plenty of couples who sleep in separate beds, separate rooms, whatever is needed. Quality sleep is up there with a healthy diet and regular exercise when it comes to overall health; don’t let it suffer because of what someone might think.

—LelstetterFurnklin

I couldn’t agree more.

Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.

Hey Prudie,

This is Non-Binary Blues with an update. Turns out that my brother’s fiancée, now wife, was micromanaging everyone’s outfit, not just mine. I wore an outfit that she picked out for me, and it was fine. It wasn’t anything I would ever wear on my own, but it was comfortable, and that’s all I really cared about in the end. Thanks for your help.

—Non-Binary Bliss

Wow!! I am shocked that 1) everything worked out so well, and 2) everyone let her get away with this. But I’m thrilled that you didn’t have to wear something that made you horribly uncomfortable.

Hey Prudie,

This is for Running in Agony : I love whistling, and if I were a gym person, I could easily see myself whistling a few tunes. Before you give up on the gym, you should talk to them. It doesn’t have to be rude or a demand. And they may be rude or refuse to stop. But before you give up on the gym (or if enhanced earphones don’t work), I don’t think it’s unreasonable to at least ask.

Try, “Hi, sorry to interrupt you. I really hesitated to bring this up, but I have a condition called misophonia, which means [insert preferred one-sentence explanation here]. I’ve actually been really affected by your whistling. This is the only time with my work and child care I can come to the gym, and I’ve tried layering two sets of headphones, even. Is there any chance you could stop or reduce the whistling? This is totally a me thing, but I thought I’d ask. It’d make a huge difference to me.”

If you said that to me, I’d be completely fine to keep my whistling at home. There are annoyances to being in a public space, but we can try to be kind to each other.

—Whistle While You Work (Or Not)

Really good script. If they’re going to say something, it’s essential to frame it as a favor and present it in a “it’s not you, it’s me” way. This could work, and I’d love an update if it does!

Hey Prudie,

I just wanted to add a bit to the advice for Never Wanted This : A written agreement is actually a kindness for ALL parties. It lets everyone consider pros, cons, expectations, and consequences. It can even say what happens in case of unlikely events. It can clarify what you expect from them, give them a chance to state what they think is reasonable, be modified to be as close to satisfactory to all parties before signing, and constrain actions that the landlord can take thereafter. It sounded like the LW might be hesitant to put things in writing for fear of the tenants feeling insulted or like she doesn’t trust them. But if she thinks of it as relieving any anxieties they might have because the future is uncertain, that might make it easier to proceed.

—Long-Time Renter

Absolutely. It feels a little bit uncomfortable to have a conversation about a formal agreement, for exactly the reason you mention. But that will pass, and it will be much less uncomfortable than what the letter writer is currently dealing with, which sounds like absolute hell. I think people like this, who are super generous and caring, sometimes need to balance that with a bit of self-protection.

Hey Prudie,

Re Sad But Done : You may consider enlisting the help of the assisted living staff, such as a social worker, program supervisor, therapist, health aide, or physician. The issues described are common among that population. First, you want to rule o…