GROWING up in a society where many aspects of one's identity are often suppressed, Kressan Muthal is living with a sense of difference that extends far beyond his sexuality.
The 22-year-old of Chatsworth said he was 8 years old when he had “small crushes” on television characters of the same gender.
However, at the time he did not understand what any of those emotions meant.
“It was only as I grew older that I knew I was different from my peers, not just in sexuality but as a person. I saw something that represented me. I felt this tether in my chest pulling me towards it. But because society suppresses anything different, I knew I had to hide it from the world.”
Muthlal said he never had to “come out” to his family.
“At some point along the way, they knew. I am grateful that I never had to explain who I am to them, because they knew that my sexuality never changed anything about me. However, I know for any Indian family it is difficult to accept something that society often frowns upon or shuns.”
Muthlal said “coming out to the world”, was a struggle.
“I know that people's perspective about you can change when you say you are gay, lesbian or transgender. You hear comments such as ‘you would be more handsome if you were a normal boy’. Coming out while in high school was my biggest fear as I did not know how my peers would react. You often hear about people from the LGBTQIA+ community being attacked, even killed.
“But while I did face bullying, my close friends accepted me with open arms. This gave me the confidence to embrace my femininity. In the early years, I was not as confident, but that has since changed,” he said.
Muthlal has since taken to TikTok where he shares videos – of him doing make-up for others and himself, dressing up, and a bit of comedy.
He currently has over 11,000 followers and over 300,000 video likes.
“I always knew I wanted to share my thoughts and make people laugh, but I just didn't know how. However, when I was able to access the internet, it was like a 'another world'. I did not know there were so many other people just like me out there.
“I came across so many content creators from the LGBTQIA+ community. Once I started sharing my own videos, they made me feel seen, and that I could be who I want to be without fear. All the fear and anxiety I initially experienced disappeared, and I was able to do what made me happy.”
Muthlal said there would always be “hate”.
“But it does not bother me as they are just a bunch of people who don’t know anything about me and are just being judgemental.”
Muthlal said he believed society should be more accepting.
“The LGBTQIA+ community just wants to live their lives like any other human being. We go through the same problems as everyone else. Life is difficult for everyone, so why make it harder for another person because of their sexuality. I ask ‘what difference will it make?”
Muthlal said his advice to the LGBTQIA+ community was to be true to themselves.
“I know how hard it is, especially the fear of losing people. But remember the right ones never leave. I say even if it feels like the whole world is against you, as long as you know who you are, nobody can take that away from you. Don't waste your life thinking about what others think of you; live it in a way that makes your heart full of happiness because that is what you deserve.”
Muthlal said his goal was to continue fulfilling his passions and achieving personal growth.
“There are many things I will love to do such as continuing with my YouTube channel and performing, because I have a passion for dance. I also just want to grow and become the best version of myself.”
THE POST
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ZA