Nacho Tornel, doctor en mediación familiar: «En pareja, es bueno aburrirse juntos. Un plan anodino tiene que ser suficiente y servirá para veros en situaciones muy diversas»

In a recent interview with Spanish media outlet ABC, family mediation specialist Nacho Tornel emphasized the importance of shared boredom in romantic relationships. He stated, “In a relationship, it’s good to be bored together. A mundane plan has to be enough and will serve to see each other in very diverse situations.” The remarks were part of a broader discussion on how couples can build deeper compatibility through everyday routines rather than relying solely on exciting or novel activities. Tornel, who works in the field of couple mediation, highlighted that many couples in the early stages of a relationship often feel the need to constantly create new experiences, dinner dates, weekend getaways, concerts, or other special plans. While these moments are valuable for creating memories and getting to know one another, they can sometimes overshadow the significance of ordinary days. According to him, relationships are sustained not just by extraordinary occasions, but also by the quiet moments spent together, such as routine tasks, simple conversations, and daily responsibilities. The expert argues that learning to share even the simplest parts of life is essential for discovering true compatibility. In his view, being able to endure and enjoy mundane activities together can reveal whether two people are suited for long-term partnership. This perspective was discussed in detail during a segment on the podcast Aladetres, where Tornel elaborated on the value of ordinary days in a relationship. He stressed that boredom is not inherently negative. Instead, he sees it as a positive sign of connection. “It’s good that you bore each other,” he said. For example, he suggested that spending time together doing things like helping with household chores or running errands can be meaningful. These seemingly insignificant activities allow couples to experience each other outside the context of planned outings, offering a more authentic glimpse into their lives. Tornel further explained that such moments help partners understand different aspects of each other’s world. By engaging in everyday tasks, couples can learn about each other’s habits, values, and interactions with family members or friends. This exposure allows them to discover what truly fulfills the other person and how they handle various situations, including challenges and emotional difficulties. He also pointed out that while going out to have fun is enjoyable, it doesn’t fully represent the reality of life. “After all, life is very long and includes all kinds of situations,” he noted. These include illness, loss, and personal struggles, which can reveal how a partner responds under pressure. Understanding this response is crucial for building trust and resilience in a relationship. Tornel encouraged couples to embrace the idea of a “360-degree” view of each other, meaning seeing one another in multiple contexts, intellectual, spiritual, generous, and familial. He believes that experiencing each other in varied settings helps form a stronger bond. His advice underscores the idea that lasting relationships are built not only on passion and novelty, but also on patience, understanding, and the ability to find joy in simplicity.