Why we need a different culture when it comes to children

In recent years, a growing number of films have portrayed parenthood, not as a joyous milestone, but as a harrowing experience. From arthouse cinema to mainstream media, the act of raising children has increasingly been framed as a tragic, even terrifying journey. This shift in cultural narrative has sparked heated debates, with critics arguing that such portrayals risk reinforcing a child-unfriendly mindset. In Austria, this trend has gained particular traction, with several independent films exploring the emotional and psychological toll of parenthood. Among them, Mother’s Baby by Johanna Moders and Welcome Home Baby by Andreas Prochaska have drawn attention for their raw depiction of the challenges faced by new parents. The surge in these kinds of films reflects broader societal anxieties surrounding childbirth and early parenthood. Many of these works focus on postpartum depression, a condition triggered by hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and inadequate social support. While awareness of mental health issues during this period has increased, some argue that the cinematic portrayal of parenthood often overshadows the nuanced realities of family life. For instance, the film Nightborn, which recently premiered in Finland, uses horror elements to depict the emotional strain of becoming a parent. Similarly, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You and Die My Love explore the complexities of motherhood through darkly comedic and dramatic lenses. These artistic choices are not without controversy. Some filmmakers, including the author of this column and his partner, deliberately avoided using horror tropes to preserve the hope and optimism associated with starting a family. They argue that while the difficulties of parenthood should not be ignored, they should not be exaggerated into a permanent state of despair. The tension between realism and romanticism in depicting parenting has become a central point of discussion among artists, psychologists, and sociologists alike. At the same time, public discourse around parenthood has grown more polarized. On social media platforms and traditional media outlets, young people are frequently exposed to narratives that emphasize the downsides of having children, often to the point of making parenthood seem like a burden rather than a privilege. Meanwhile, conservative voices are sometimes accused of promoting outdated or simplistic views of family life. This ideological divide has deepened over the past two years, coinciding with declining fertility rates in many Western countries. Experts suggest that the decline is partly due to changing social norms and economic pressures, but also to a general sense of disillusionment with traditional family structures. Critics argue that the current cultural climate risks creating a society that is either indifferent or hostile toward children. With fertility rates falling below replacement levels in several developed nations, there is growing concern that a shift away from child-rearing could have long-term consequences for social stability and demographic trends. Yet, others maintain that focusing too much on the negative aspects of parenthood can lead to unrealistic expectations and further alienate individuals who choose not to have children. To address these concerns, some advocates call for a more balanced approach to discussing parenthood, one that acknowledges both its challenges and its rewards. This includes improving access to childcare, reducing gender inequality in the workplace, and fostering supportive communities that help families navigate the transition to parenthood. However, achieving such a balance requires a fundamental shift in how society perceives and represents the role of parents. As one filmmaker noted, the true essence of family life lies beyond the extremes of kitsch and horror, it exists in the everyday moments of connection, struggle, and growth that shape human relationships.