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United StatesSports6 days ago

My Son Is a Well-Behaved Kid. But Around One Dangerous Machine, He Forgets All of His Survival Instincts.

A parent writes about their 7-year-old son, Carlos, who exhibits normal behavior in most areas of life but consistently ignores traffic safety rules. The child walks into roads without checking for vehicles, unbuckles himself in moving cars, and becomes distracted while crossing streets. The parent notes that Carlos understands other safety rules, such as not touching hot appliances or entering water without supervision, but remains unaware of the dangers posed by cars.

Care and Feeding

June 15, 2026 6:00 AM

Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.  Have a question for Care and Feeding?  Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My son “Carlos” is 7. He’s normally a good kid. He’s not a star student, but he gets on well at school and does OK listening to the teacher and doing his work. He doesn’t have any hyperactivity or attention problems as far as we can see, but he has a major and really scary blind spot.

He forgets all about safety around cars. He will just walk straight into the road without looking. In parking lots, he unbuckles himself and tries to jump out of the car and walk to the store on his own, sometimes before I’ve cut the engine. Sometimes when we’re crossing the road, he will just stop smack in the middle and start talking about a thing that interests him. He’s not a dumb or reckless kid. He knows not to touch the stove or oven, and he doesn’t run at the pool or go in the water without an adult. He can tell you why you shouldn’t eat medicines that aren’t yours. He always approaches strange dogs cautiously instead of running right up to pet them. I don’t understand why he is completely oblivious to cars.

His mother and I have spoken to him again and again about traffic safety, and he has the same lessons at school. He has been lectured about how children get struck and killed by cars all the time. One of our close friends was struck at a crosswalk. He was hospitalized, and his dog was killed, which was very upsetting for everyone, including Carlos. We’ve taken away privileges as punishment for walking right into the road without looking, and heaped praise on him the rare times he has waited for an adult. I have to watch him like a hawk. He was screamed at in his face by the driver of a car he stepped out in front of at the grocery store in the two seconds I was getting my car keys out of my pocket, even though we’d been trying the “hands on car” trick. Nothing has sunk in. When the school walks the kids to the public park, the kids are usually paired together, but a teacher specifically has to hold Carlos’s hand, or he will just step off the curb into the road. Carlos always says he “just forgot.” I don’t want to put reins on him like a toddler, but I don’t know what else to do. Why can’t he just remember this like everything else?

—Look Both Ways

Dear Look Both Ways,

I wonder if it’s not that Carlos doesn’t know about car safety, because, as you mention, you and his mother do a great job of trying to reinforce it, but more so that he is heavily distracted by what is going on around him outside. Think about it: trees in the wind, birds chirping, dogs barking, grocery carts squeaking, other people talking to each other. It seems like he might be distracted by everything going on, and that as he tries to take in all the sights and sounds, he forgets about car safety.

Before Carlos steps outside for a walk or opens the car door, have him do a breathing exercise to help calm any anxiousness or excitement. I know we often think of anxiousness as showing up as a tantrum or irritability. But it seems as if he’s anxious to get to all of the things he’s seeing, and adding breathing exercises might slow him down and help him remember the safety tips he already knows.

As always, talk with your son’s pediatrician about this and get a referral for a therapist (likely occupational) who can work one-on-one with Carlos. I really think, from what you’ve described, that he’s just so excited that he’s highly distracted, but not that he’s intentionally trying to be unsafe or that he’s not listening to you and his mom. It sounds like he’s simply enjoying the wonders of the world! You just have to help him do it safely.

—Arionne

More Advice From Slate

Our 5-year-old son recently started kindergarten. Every Wednesday, he gets a homework packet. The packet contains four or five pages, front and back, which he has to complete by the following Wednesday. In addition, he has lists of words and word sounds he’s supposed to practice at home, as well as short books he’s supposed to read. Frankly, it’s a lot for a 5-year-old, and it’s causing him anxiety. The problem is, my wife insists he complete as much of the work as possible every night.

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SlateIndependentCenter6 days ago
My Son Is a Well-Behaved Kid. But Around One Dangerous Machine, He Forgets All of His Survival Instincts.

A parent writes about their 7-year-old son, Carlos, who exhibits normal behavior in most areas of life but consistently ignores traffic safety rules. The child walks into roads without checking for vehicles, unbuckles himself in moving cars, and becomes distracted while crossing streets. The parent notes that Carlos understands other safety rules, such as not touching hot appliances or entering water without supervision, but remains unaware of the dangers posed by cars.

Bias read (Center): The article discusses a common parenting concern regarding child safety and does not take a stance on any political issue. It presents the situation objectively without framing or bias.