My Kids Are Going To Get a Windfall When I Die. Only One of Them Can Handle It.

Pay Dirt

June 17, 2026 6:00 AM

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Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

This is one of those good problems. Through a combination of good fortune, inheritance, and a long work history (over 40 years and counting), plus a dedication to saving, I’ll be entering retirement soon. I’m actually retiring “early” (before 65), and at some point when it makes sense I’ll have Social Security and pension income in addition to the money my husband and I are already living on (he has a generous annuity). I’ll have sufficient resources to not only maintain my standard of living, but also almost certainly leave my heirs something well into six figures (maybe seven) each.

But I don’t think it makes sense to hang on to it all until I die while my stepson and daughter could certainly use a boost now. I admit I’m a little worried about how they each might handle a sudden windfall at my death. My stepson has a well paying job and robust savings of his own already, but my daughter will have a creative career and has a mild disability that may limit her ability to work a “real job.” What might be some strategies for helping them out? I’ve had my daughter open a Vanguard account to help her learn how to manage long-term savings, but there’s only $1,000 in it and she hasn’t been motivated to figure out how to invest it yet. My stepson is single and roaring along on his FIRE plan. Just looking for some concepts on how we could smooth out the wealth transfer, or whether it makes more sense not to do that.

—Grateful for a Good Problem

Dear Grateful,

You’re in a great position—congratulations!

For starters, consider the taxes. The current rules allow you to give up to $19,000 per recipient per year without triggering a gift tax. (Larger gifts are often still tax-free but may count against your lifetime estate-and-gift-tax exemption .) If you want to help your kids now, you can do that in ways that are structured and intentional. This might be simply writing them a check, or it could be transferring investments. Or it could be paying for specific living expenses.

But the plan can also be more formal. You can start a living trust to give your family some financial support while you still maintain control or guidance. Trusts are often used when a parent wants to protect a child from mismanaging a lump sum or when a child has a disability or unpredictable income. For your daughter, you might think about a structure that supports her without handing over a large lump sum. You can set up your trust for periodic distributions, or allow it to only cover specific categories like housing, education, or medical needs. This is common for families with a child who has a disability or unpredictable income. For your stepson, who’s already financially stable and pursuing FIRE, small annual gifts or occasional support for major milestones might be more than enough. Importantly,  because these decisions can have tax and legal implications, it’s worth consulting an estate planning attorney or financial professional to tailor the plan to your situation.

It sounds like you have two goals here, really: to transfer wealth but also to help your kids build wealth. Those might have different solutions. For example, if your daughter has earned income, helping fund a Roth IRA could give her decades of tax-free growth for her retirement. If either child hopes to buy a home someday, helping with a down payment might be more impactful than leaving them a larger inheritance later.

It’s smart to help your daughter open an investment account, because many people don’t learn to manage money until they’re forced to. A small account is a low‑stakes way to build those financial skills. You could pair it with small annual gifts that she invests with your help, which gives her some practice before she ever receives a larger inheritance.

But one of the most valuable things you can do might be to simply be more transparent with them about your plans. Many families avoid conversations about money and inheritance until it’s too late, which can leave the heirs feeling overwhelmed by both the money and the responsibility that comes with it. Gradually involving your kids in your investment decisions can help turn a future windfall into something they’re prepared to manage.

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Dear Pay Dirt,

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