I went on my first daytime date – it was the biggest turn-off ever

It was a Saturday morning, the sun was shining, and the park was filled with families and friends getting ice cream, drinking coffee, having birthday parties and walking their dogs. Wholesome? Definitely. Sexy? Not so much.

This was the context of my most recent date , a date which has since left me feeling bewildered. There really wasn’t anything wrong with it. We got a coffee and a croissant, walked about the park for over an hour discussing our lives, exchanging funny stories, sharing interests, seeing where they overlapped and learning where they diverged. Objectively, the date was enjoyable. But in all honesty, there was nothing fun, silly, romantic, or sexy about it whatsoever. Afterwards, there were a few short chats before I sent the message saying it wasn’t going to work.

I can, of course, blame this on chemistry . We clearly had none and maybe it’s true, you either have it or you don’t. But I’ve gone on a handful of great dates, which I later discovered were only great in the moment. Given the correct circumstances, chemistry can be temporarily manufactured. Likewise, given the wrong circumstances, it can temporarily be sabotaged.

Shorts

What was it then that interfered with the chemistry between me and my date? The answer is simple. It was timing. And by this, I don’t mean that our paths crossed at the wrong point in each other’s lives. I literally mean the time of day.

Dating during the daytime just does not work. In fact, I’d consider it the very antithesis of romance . And yet, amongst my generation (Gen Z), it seems morning or mid-afternoon has become the prime time to pin down the next loves of our lives. More than ever before, we are mixing romance with gym sessions, chess games, book clubs, picnics, and strolls in the park. The chief executive of Hinge, Jackie Jantos, has reported a rise in daytime dating amongst Gen Zs, pointing to the cost of living crisis and the decline in drinking as the main reasons for this trend. My theory? It’s less a product of logic and more simply a case of, once a trend has formed, we all want to try it – even if it involves switching pints for pastries.

Simply put, dating in the daytime lacks the intimacy, mystery, and yes, sexiness of an evening date. Its wholesome, healthy and sunlit nature is counterproductive to what us singletons are trying to achieve. Friend zoning someone happens far more easily when spending the morning drinking coffee with them rather than getting increasingly drunk at the pub together.

In contrast, the night is a place where chemistry is encouraged, created even. The shift from the evening light into the dark allows you both to slip into a world of your own, time no longer a factor to be considered. It’s the atmosphere of a crammed pub spilling onto the street, or a candlelit corner of a wine bar keeping you sheltered from the cold, ensuring you never want to leave. Mix this with a decent level of alcohol and potentially some good food and even the dullest of dates can turn into a fun evening – or at least a funny story to tell your friends.

There are also practicalities that must be considered. Daytime fashion offers far less opportunity to be sexy in comparison to what we wear in the evening. And, while Hinge’s chief executive claims daytime dates are more affordable, I’d say there’s very little difference. The price of a coffee and a croissant in cities like London is now equivalent to at least one drink – if not two!

To prove my point even further, I should mention how just the other day I had a work meeting which was meant to take place in the morning over a quick coffee but ended up being moved to the evening at the pub. I went in thinking it would be strictly business, but when I was caught up in the evening atmosphere and when one drink turned into two, which turned into three, I soon found myself burdened with a brand-new crush.

Would I now be pining after this man who is in many ways not appropriate for me, if it wasn’t for the circumstances of our meeting? I have no idea. But when I look back on both occasions – my dull daytime date and my unexpectedly thrilling late-night business meeting – it only confirms my theory that time-of-day plays a much greater role in romantic chemistry than we might think.

I ask my generation: why, when you’re purposefully going out of your way to try and spark a flame, would you choose to do it at a time when everything around you is trying to put it out?