Gabriel Rolón, psychologue: "Être heureux implique une très grande responsabilité"

Gabriel Rolón, a renowned psychoanalyst, recently emphasized that happiness carries a profound responsibility, challenging contemporary notions of personal fulfillment and emotional well-being. In an interview with LN+, Rolón discussed how modern culture often prioritizes immediate results over deeper, more complex processes of self-understanding. He criticized trends that reduce emotional experiences to simple choices, arguing instead for a conscious and courageous approach to navigating life’s challenges. Rolón introduced the concept of "faltacidad," a term he coined in his book La felicidad, which describes a form of happiness capable of embracing human imperfections, absences, pain, and wounds. According to Rolón, true happiness does not exist in an idealized sense but rather in the acceptance of one's flaws. He stated, "There is no happiness. There is faltacidad, which is a happiness able to embrace all my lacks, my absences, my pains, and my wounds." This perspective shifts the focus away from seeking perfection toward acknowledging and integrating life's inherent complexities. The analyst further explained that happiness exists in the present moment, emphasizing the importance of constructing it here and now rather than waiting for some distant future or past. He warned against searching for happiness in times that are not current, stating that such pursuits negate the meaning of the present existence. Rolón described happiness as inherently imperfect, highlighting the need to accept this imperfection as part of the human condition. In discussing love, Rolón framed it as a crucial tool against existential anxiety. He described love as a human invention aimed at momentarily evading death. "Love is that wonderful invention of men to try to deceive death for a while," he remarked. He noted its role in mitigating loneliness and reducing the distress of sadness. However, Rolón cautioned that love also involves risks, particularly regarding power dynamics within relationships. He pointed out that loving someone grants them influence over oneself and stressed that healthy love involves voluntarily relinquishing the power to harm during conflicts. A truly healthy relationship, according to Rolón, is one where neither party uses their power to hurt the other out of anger or frustration. Rolón explored the impact of external expectations and mandates on the pursuit of desire, noting that individuals are often shaped by familial and societal pressures from birth. These influences can distort self-perception, making it difficult for people to remain authentic to themselves. He argued that psychoanalysis aims to help individuals break free from externally imposed destinies and pursue their own desires. "I like to define psychoanalysis as the art of trying to make someone not fulfill their destiny," he said, adding that the path to understanding one's desires is fraught with difficulty yet endlessly rewarding. Rolón acknowledged the complexity of knowing what one truly wants, recognizing that this process is not straightforward. Despite these challenges, he maintained that the desire itself is inexhaustible, suggesting that the journey toward self-discovery is ongoing and ever-evolving. His insights offer a nuanced view of happiness, love, and personal fulfillment, urging individuals to embrace their imperfections and seek authenticity in a world that often demands perfection.