Back to school: Does your child cry when you say goodbye?; psychologist explains what to do and asks not to minimize emotions

Parents often find themselves emotionally overwhelmed during their child’s first day of school, especially when they witness tears at the moment of separation. This emotional challenge can complicate children's adjustment to the new environment, according to Perla Leal Galicia, a psychology professor at the Universidad Iberoamericana. She emphasized that crying and anxiety over separation are normal responses in early childhood, yet the emotions of caregivers, whether parents or guardians, are often misinterpreted by young children as signs of danger. The psychologist explained that children under five years old have not yet fully developed the cognitive abilities to understand that people remain with them even when they are not visible. Separation from a primary source of security, particularly in an unfamiliar setting filled with new faces and routines, can become highly stressful. The emotional distress of adults during this time can intensify the child’s sense of insecurity, she warned. Leal Galicia stressed that crying on the first few days of school should not be viewed as a sign of something being wrong, but rather as a natural reaction to a novel situation. Parents should avoid dismissing or minimizing their child’s feelings with statements such as “stop crying” or “nothing will happen.” Instead, she recommended validating the child’s emotions, explaining what will occur throughout the day, and reminding them that they will return home. To ease the transition, she suggested families prepare their children well in advance, visiting the school before classes begin, discussing what will take place during the day, and considering gradual enrollment if possible. Parents were also encouraged to manage their own emotions first. If they remain calm because they know their child will be safe and cared for, they can help their child feel secure. She also highlighted a common mistake: downplaying a child’s emotions. Rather than brushing off their sadness, parents should acknowledge their feelings and reassure them. The school, she noted, is not just a place for academic learning, it serves as a space where children develop social skills, independence, and essential emotional tools. In her final remarks, Leal Galicia urged families to approach the start of the school year with patience and confidence. She described how there will come a point when children enter the classroom happily and barely glance back at their parents. Until then, the best support parents can offer is to become a steady source of comfort and safety, allowing children to explore the world with greater assurance.