Famous psychologist: 'There's no need for the week before school to turn into a mini-military camp'

Parents seeking advice on easing their children’s return to school have turned to clinical psychologist Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, who has outlined practical strategies to help children navigate the emotional challenges of starting a new academic year. The transition back to school often brings anxiety for many children, and parents frequently struggle with how best to support them. In an interview with Netmums, Dr. Collado emphasized that common reassurances such as “Don’t cry” can exacerbate distress rather than alleviate it. Instead, she recommended acknowledging children's feelings and creating a safe space for them to process emotions. Dr. Collado advised against dismissing a child’s worries or using overly optimistic statements like “School will be fun.” She suggested instead validating the child’s concerns while highlighting familiar routines and positive aspects of school life. For example, parents could say, “Some things at school will be new, like the teacher and some classmates, but other things will stay the same, like recess or the school fair.” This approach helps children view their anxieties more realistically without diminishing the importance of their emotions. In addition to emotional support, Dr. Collado recommended practical steps to ease the transition. Families were encouraged to gradually reintroduce school-related routines during the final week of summer break. This included adjusting sleep schedules, meal times, and bedtime rituals to align with the school year. Children could also practice morning routines, such as walking to school or organizing their backpacks, which can make the upcoming routine feel more predictable. To foster independence, Dr. Collado suggested allowing children to make small decisions, such as choosing their backpack or selecting appropriate footwear. Parents could assist by helping them practice tasks like filling a water bottle or putting on shoes, reinforcing a sense of control and security. These seemingly minor actions contribute significantly to a child’s confidence and comfort during this transitional phase. Dr. Collado also stressed the importance of parental self-awareness and emotional regulation. Parents should reflect on their own experiences with school and consider how these might influence their interactions with their children. Writing down personal hopes and fears related to the child’s school experience can help parents communicate more effectively. Children are highly attuned to emotional signals, even when adults remain silent, so maintaining calm and composure is crucial. She noted that a certain level of anxiety around returning to school is entirely normal. Parents should monitor changes in appetite, sleep patterns, or mood during the adjustment period, which typically lasts about eight weeks. However, they should seek additional support if concerns persist beyond three to four weeks of school. In such cases, consulting teachers is advisable to collaboratively address the child’s needs and ensure they feel secure in the classroom environment. Ultimately, Dr. Collado reminded parents that their role is not to eliminate all discomfort but to provide a supportive framework. It is essential to recognize that children’s reluctance or resistance does not necessarily indicate a problem. By understanding and empathizing with their feelings, parents can guide their children through the transition with greater ease and resilience.