You're raising someone to forget you: Smriti Irani's emotional take on motherhood

Smriti Irani, a former Union minister and actress, delivered an emotionally resonant reflection on motherhood during a recent public speaking engagement. At the event, she addressed the challenges faced by working mothers, emphasizing the often-overlooked sacrifices made in balancing careers and family life. Her remarks, which have since gained widespread attention, highlight the complex and sometimes painful realities of raising children while maintaining professional ambitions. Irani, 50, spoke candidly about the demanding nature of motherhood, describing the years spent caring for children as a period marked by constant multitasking. She noted that working mothers frequently find themselves caught between professional obligations and domestic duties, leaving little time to truly savor the moments. “Those years are often a blur,” she said, explaining that mothers are too preoccupied with ensuring their children’s basic needs are met, whether through feeding them, helping with homework, or preparing presentations for work, to recall much of what transpired. Her comments struck a chord with the audience, particularly when she humorously acknowledged how swiftly children grow. “How many of you wonder that I was just cleaning the nappy and now this person is talking back to me?” she asked, prompting laughter and nods from attendees. This moment underscored the transition from infancy to adolescence, a shift that brings both pride and a sense of loss. For Irani, motherhood extends beyond the immediate act of raising children. She framed it as a lifelong journey that gains new significance as children mature and lead independent lives. “That is the most heartbreaking thing,” she said, referring to the realization that a child’s independence marks the end of a parent’s direct involvement. She further explained that daughters and sons may remember their mothers differently, with daughters often recalling their mothers only after they themselves become parents, while sons might appreciate their mothers’ role later in life. Irani described this phenomenon as the “tragic beauty” of motherhood, noting that it involves raising children to eventually move forward without reliance. “You’re raising someone to let them go. You’re raising someone to forget you. You’re raising someone who will never need you again,” she said, capturing the bittersweet essence of the experience. In addition to reflecting on motherhood, Irani drew parallels between the emotional strength required in parenting and the qualities necessary for success in business. She challenged the notion that women are overly emotional, arguing instead that such traits contribute to resilience and determination. “Can you compute an economic value to that?” she asked, addressing the audience, before acknowledging that some women present at the event exhibited these very qualities. She concluded by underscoring the unique strengths that come with both motherhood and womanhood. “The day somebody realises that and invests in your enterprise, that's a smart investor because money can buy anything. It can never buy a woman's tenacity. It can never buy a mother's love,” she said, reinforcing the enduring power of maternal bonds. Irani, married to Mumbai-based businessman Zubin Iran, has three children: Zohr, Zoish, and her stepdaughter Shanelle. Currently, she plays the role of Tulsi in Ektaa Kapoor’s Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Her reflections continue to resonate widely, offering insight into the deeply personal yet universally relatable experience of motherhood.