The Most Normal Woman: Essays on Appearances – sharp, funny and unsettling

Róisín Kiberd's The Most Normal Woman: Essays on Appearances offers a biting, humorous and deeply unsettling exploration of the cultural and personal costs of conforming to societal expectations of femininity. Published by Tramp Press, the book carries ISBN-13: 978-1915290229 and is priced at €16, spanning 272 pages. It builds upon Kiberd’s earlier work, The Disconnect, which examined the interplay between technology and identity. In The Most Normal Woman, she turns her attention to the pervasive and often invisible mechanisms that shape how women are perceived and how they perceive themselves. Kiberd draws inspiration from the 2015 Golden Globes, where comedian Tina Fey made a pointed remark about the time it takes to prepare for roles as a woman versus as a man. Fey quipped that it took her three hours to appear as a “human woman,” a comment that has since become a common refrain in Kiberd’s life. She recounts how she spends up to two hours and €200 to add artificial hair to her head in order to meet societal standards of attractiveness. Her partner, accustomed to these routines, reacts with bemusement rather than critique, underscoring the normalization of such expectations within relationships. Kiberd reflects on how these beauty norms were already ingrained in her before she entered a relationship, having been shaped over a lifetime of exposure to sexism, feminism and misogyny. She acknowledges the oppressive nature of these standards, which are designed to instill feelings of inadequacy in women. Yet, despite her awareness of their harmful effects, she finds herself unable to fully unlearn them. This internal conflict, between knowledge and practice, forms the core of her inquiry. The book delves into a range of topics, including Botox treatments, the cultural significance of blondness, the role of perfume in shaping identity, and the psychological toll of disordered eating. Kiberd also examines the performative aspects of bodybuilding competitions and drag shows, highlighting how gender expression is both celebrated and constrained by societal norms. These essays reveal the complex ways in which women navigate and negotiate their identities within a system that demands constant adjustment. A central device in the book is the inclusion of an alien narrator who attempts to understand and emulate human appearance. This extraterrestrial being seeks approval from its peers by adhering to the aesthetic preferences of humans, requesting features such as “eyelashes like a giraffe” and “lips like a puffer fish.” The alien’s struggle to meet these arbitrary standards mirrors the challenges faced by many women trying to fit into narrow definitions of beauty. The narrative adds a layer of irony, suggesting that the very act of striving for normalcy can feel absurd and alienating. Kiberd uses this sci-fi framing to underscore the grotesque and often horrifying realities of modern beauty practices. She describes procedures that involve injecting toxins into the skin, wearing animal-derived accessories and engaging in behaviors that border on self-destruction. These acts, she argues, are not merely cosmetic choices but expressions of a deeper cultural obsession with conformity. The alien’s eventual realization that the human form lacks “flair” serves as a darkly humorous commentary on the futility of chasing an ideal that is inherently unattainable. Throughout the book, Kiberd grapples with the paradox of self-perception. She frequently writes about watching herself, a process that echoes the surveillance many women experience throughout their lives. This constant evaluation of one’s worth based on physical appearance creates a sense of detachment from the self, as individuals are encouraged to view their bodies as objects to be curated rather than lived-in spaces. The alien’s journey, from confusion to frustration to resignation, mirrors this emotional arc, offering readers a lens through which to examine their own experiences of self-monitoring and societal judgment.