Are you attracted to someone else even though you love your partner?

Feeling attracted to someone else even while loving your partner might seem confusing or troubling, but experts suggest this doesn't necessarily indicate a problem within the relationship. This phenomenon can occur in both long-term relationships and marriages, often leading to feelings of discomfort or guilt, especially when individuals feel satisfied with their current partnership. However, according to some specialists, these emotions are more common than previously thought and don’t automatically mean the relationship is in crisis. Professor of philosophy and emotion expert Aaron Ben-Ze'ev explains that romantic attraction isn't inherently contradictory to love. He argues that the opposite of love is not attraction, but rather indifference. Attraction towards another person tends to arise spontaneously and is difficult to control consciously. These emotional responses often occur when meeting someone new or interesting because our brains naturally react to change and novel experiences. It's entirely possible to feel sympathy or attraction toward someone else while genuinely loving your partner and being committed to the relationship. Ben-Ze'ev distinguishes between two types of romantic attraction. One type is based on physical attractiveness and sexual desire, while the other stems from a sense of closeness, understanding, and emotional connection with another person. Both forms of attraction can appear in individuals who are content with their relationships. According to the specialist, attraction is an emotion, whereas the decision to cross boundaries is a matter of personal choice and responsibility towards one’s partner. Successful and enduring relationships are built not just on emotions, but also on mutual understanding, responsibility, and the desire to maintain the relationship. Individuals in stable relationships often avoid situations that could lead to deeper feelings for someone else, choosing instead to invest more in the existing relationship they already have. Research indicates that people with developed self-control rarely find themselves in situations that increase the risk of infidelity because they set clear boundaries beforehand. Passing attraction towards someone does not make a person a bad partner. Whether one acts upon these feelings and crosses the agreed-upon boundaries of their relationship can seriously damage the partner’s trust. Love is not solely a temporary emotion, but also a commitment to treat the partner with understanding and respect and to be willing to nurture the relationship day after day. It is important to note that commenting on articles on the website and mobile applications of Vecernji.hr is allowed only for registered users. Every user who wishes to comment must first familiarize themselves with the Commenting Rules on the website and mobile applications of Vecernji.hr as well as the prohibitions outlined in paragraph 2 of Article 94 of the Electronic Media Act. Registration is required for commenting. If you don't have a user account, choose one of the two options provided and register in a few quick steps. Don't miss out Do you want to report errors? More from the category