Pilar Sordo: We want to freeze moments; we are aware that everything happens

Pilar Sordo, a Chilean psychologist and writer, spoke with José del Rio for La Nación, discussing the evolution of social bonds and the role of language in shaping emotional stability. She noted that individuals are using less vocabulary in their conversations, which limits their ability to articulate internal experiences. Citing Spanish psychiatrist José Luis Marín, Sordo explained that humans can become ill due to a lack of words, as reliance on emoticons and other forms of non-verbal communication weakens the depth of interpersonal connections. Sordo emphasized how modern society’s diminishing patience hinders meaningful dialogue. She pointed out that people struggle to express their feelings, while others grow increasingly impatient to listen. “We have been reducing our patience,” she said, adding that this dynamic makes it hard to create conversations where both parties feel truly heard and attended to. “The conversation must involve a challenge in which I expose myself to transformation through what you say to me,” she continued. Without such mutual engagement, conversations devolve into intermittent monologues rather than genuine exchanges. In reflecting on personal growth, Sordo criticized societal demands for constant happiness, arguing that discomfort is essential for true development. “Discomfort is the only real invitation to growth,” she stated, noting that recognizing the need for change is difficult in a culture that favors escape. She defended the human right to change one's mind, make mistakes, and withdraw from environments lacking well-being. Many people, she observed, prefer to preserve moments from their past, when life felt simpler and more magical, to avoid facing inevitable changes. “The pleasure would be wonderful to freeze it,” she remarked, explaining that these cherished memories often come with the understanding that they will eventually fade. Sordo further reflected on how awareness of impermanence can inspire a desire to capture fleeting moments. “When one begins to realize that everything passes, there is a greater inclination to seize certain instances, certain glances,” she said. This recognition, she suggested, could lead to a deeper appreciation for the present and a more intentional approach to living. Over the course of eight years, Sordo has studied how individuals converse with themselves and how this internal dialogue shapes self-love and perception of the world. She argued that how one speaks to oneself determines their sense of self-worth and influences their view of society. If someone sees themselves as reliable or noble, they project that quality onto their surroundings, according to Sordo. The way individuals perceive themselves affects processes of grief, purpose in life, and the expression of emotions. “It is how you speak to yourself that defines your love for yourself,” she explained, adding that this inner dialogue also shapes one’s worldview and how they relate to others. From this perspective, how we talk to ourselves ultimately dictates how we live our lives and navigate emotional challenges.