'My own parents tortured, shaved and exorcised me - I wanted to die every day'

Aisha*, a young woman who has chosen to remain anonymous, described enduring severe emotional and physical abuse from her parents throughout her adolescence. She recounted how her family, despite appearing progressive on the surface, subjected her to extreme forms of punishment rooted in religious beliefs. At the age of 13, Aisha began to sense that her parents were unlike those of her peers, marking the start of a deeply troubling chapter in her life. From an early age, Aisha found herself caught in a cycle of violence and psychological torment. She recalled taking on the role of mediator during arguments between her parents, a responsibility she carried for much of her life. This period was marked by frequent physical assaults, including instances where her hair was forcibly shaved, and rituals involving the supposed expulsion of “demons” from her body. These practices were framed within the context of her family’s interpretation of Islam, which Aisha later realized was being manipulated as a tool of control. “I used to get beaten for a lot of little things,” Aisha told The Daily Mirror. “At some point in my early teens, I just stopped fearing physical discipline. I grew numb to it and just stopped feeling any pain when it happened.” Her statements reveal a profound desensitization to violence, a coping mechanism developed in response to years of abuse. She admitted that she often wished for death, describing a daily longing for an end to her suffering. The abuse persisted even after Aisha completed her secondary education. As she embarked on a new phase of life, moving to the United Kingdom for university, the emotional scars of her past remained. Despite the distance, the threat of further harm loomed, pushing her toward a crisis that nearly ended her life. Aisha described periods of deep depression and financial instability, all while being isolated from her family, who sought to undermine her independence and force her into an unwanted marriage. Aisha's family environment was characterized by a stark contrast between public appearances and private realities. While they seemed supportive of her academic pursuits and allowed relative freedom in personal matters, the underlying dynamics were far more oppressive. During her teenage years, she faced verbal and physical abuse for seemingly minor actions, such as spending time with friends, interacting with male classmates, or expressing individual interests. These incidents were compounded by the manipulation of religious doctrine to justify her treatment. Religious belief played a central role in the abuse. Aisha explained that her mother frequently invoked divine wrath as a means of controlling her behavior. She was taught that disobedience could lead to eternal punishment, creating an atmosphere of fear and guilt. This mindset contributed to Aisha’s anxiety surrounding marriage, as she feared the consequences of defying her mother’s wishes. Aisha’s mental health deteriorated significantly during this time. By the age of 12, she began struggling with emotional distress, though she initially dismissed her feelings as a sign of weakness or ingratitude. When she attempted to discuss her concerns, she encountered resistance, with her family labeling her as difficult or overly influenced by Western culture. In response, she was subjected to additional spiritual rituals aimed at purging perceived negative influences from her life, including the forced shaving of her head. For years, Aisha failed to recognize the severity of her situation. She acknowledged that her home life was problematic but rationalized it as a necessary trade-off for basic necessities such as shelter and clothing. It wasn’t until she relocated to the UK that the true extent of her trauma became clear. She expressed a deep aversion to returning home, stating that the experience required extensive mental preparation, a sentiment shared by no one else in her circle. As she continues to navigate the aftermath of her experiences, Aisha reflects on the broader implications of her story. Speaking ahead of the International Day Commemorating the Victims of Acts of Violence Based on Religion or Belief, she emphasized the need for awareness and support for individuals facing similar challenges. Her journey underscores the complex interplay between familial relationships, cultural norms, and personal autonomy, highlighting the urgent need for intervention and understanding.