Gabriel Rolón: Happiness is not a decision

Gabriel Rolón, a well-known psychoanalyst and author, recently spoke about contemporary myths surrounding personal fulfillment and the challenges of living in a culture that prioritizes immediate results. In an interview with LN+, Rolón discussed how modern society often falls into the trap of seeking magical or instant solutions to emotional and psychological issues, despite the need for conscious and courageous effort. He emphasized that happiness carries significant responsibility and should not be viewed as a simple decision made by individuals alone. Instead, he argued that true well-being involves accepting one's own shortcomings and recognizing that external factors play a crucial role in shaping emotional states. Rolón introduced a new term in his book La felicidad to describe the realistic state to which a human being can aspire. This concept, called "faltacidad," refers to a form of happiness capable of embracing all flaws, absences, pains, and wounds of an individual. According to Rolón, there is no perfect happiness, but rather this imperfect yet inclusive state of being. He stated that happiness exists in the eternal present moment, and focusing on past or uncertain future diminishes the meaning of current existence. He stressed the importance of constructing happiness in the present, acknowledging its imperfection. In discussing love, Rolón described it as a fundamental tool against existential anxiety. He defined love as a human invention aimed at momentarily deceiving death. Love serves to reduce the pain of loneliness and lessen the disturbance caused by sadness. However, he also warned about the risks associated with emotional bonds. Loving someone grants them power over oneself, and healthy love involves voluntarily relinquishing the ability to use that power to harm during conflicts. A person who loves with healthiness does not wield their influence to hurt or win arguments driven by anger. Rolón further explored the impact of societal expectations and familial mandates on the pursuit of desire. He noted that from birth, individuals receive expectations and instructions from family and society, leading to confusion in self-perception. People become so influenced by others' opinions that they lose touch with their authentic selves. The role of psychoanalysis, according to Rolón, is to help individuals avoid fulfilling externally imposed destinies and instead pursue their own desires. He acknowledged the difficulty in understanding what one truly wants but insisted that desire itself is never exhausted. The discussion highlights the complexity of achieving personal fulfillment in a world that often oversimplifies emotional processes. Rolón’s insights challenge prevailing notions of happiness as a choice or a goal to be attained, suggesting instead that it is a dynamic and imperfect experience shaped by both internal and external forces. His perspective invites reflection on the nature of happiness, love, and the pursuit of individual desires within the constraints of social and familial influences. Rolón’s views have sparked discussions among psychologists and mental health professionals regarding the practical implications of his theories. Some argue that his approach offers a more nuanced understanding of emotional well-being, while others question how effectively these ideas can be applied in therapeutic settings. Nonetheless, his emphasis on the interplay between personal agency and external factors provides a valuable framework for examining the multifaceted nature of happiness and emotional health. As the conversation around personal fulfillment continues to evolve, Rolón’s contributions serve as a reminder that the journey toward well-being is complex and deeply intertwined with the broader social fabric. His work encourages individuals to embrace the imperfections of life and seek balance between personal aspirations and the realities of existence. This ongoing dialogue reflects a growing recognition of the need for holistic approaches to mental health and emotional resilience in contemporary society.