Federico Venco died for a gesture of kindness: toxic masculinity also takes its toll on men

Federico Venco, a 36-year-old man, was killed in a hit-and-run incident after performing an act of kindness. He was helping a woman who had become lost while walking along a peripheral road, accompanying her on his motorcycle. The driver responsible for the fatal accident remained unknown, and the motive behind the attack has not been clarified. Venco's death has sparked renewed discussions about toxic masculinity and its role in perpetuating violence, even among men. Venco had recently completed a challenging climb up the Himalayas four years ago and was pursuing a dream of purchasing a mountain cabin. His life was marked by adventurous pursuits and a desire for personal fulfillment. However, his life was cut short under tragic circumstances. The incident raises questions about the broader societal issues surrounding male violence and the pressures placed on men to conform to traditional gender roles. The woman Venco was assisting had reportedly gotten lost while trying to meet with an ex-partner near a cemetery. She had misplaced her phone, which contained navigation instructions leading to their meeting place. This situation might have reflected internal conflict within her, between fear and rationalization. Women often recount similar experiences in anti-violence centers, describing how they feel torn between instinctual caution and social expectations that encourage compliance with potentially dangerous situations. Societal norms have long conditioned women to prioritize others' needs, particularly those of men, fostering traits such as gentleness, accommodation, and attentiveness. These expectations can lead to feelings of guilt over relationship failures and reinforce submissiveness, often labeled as love. It is puzzling why some women still agree to meet former abusers despite their bodies screaming otherwise. Venco, believing he was protecting her, unknowingly led her into a dangerous encounter, making his death even more tragic. Toxic masculinity, rooted in dominance and control, generates victims among both genders. Names like Willy Monteiro Duarte, who died from beatings during a fight, and Davide Simone Cavallo, who survived a group assault, highlight the prevalence of male-on-male violence. Men frequently become the first victims of violence inflicted by other men, often due to societal conditioning that emphasizes strength, competitiveness, and dominance. Boys are taught to suppress vulnerability, react aggressively, avoid showing weakness, and never be perceived as losers. This upbringing exposes them to self-directed and interpersonal violence, as well as exposure to others' aggression. This pattern manifests in various forms of violence, including homicides, assaults, street fights, organized crime, and warfare. In her book Vivre avec les hommes (Living with Men), philosopher Manon Garcia examines how male domination can become so normalized that it goes unrecognized. Drawing inspiration from Hannah Arendt’s concept of the banality of evil, Garcia reflects on the banality of male violence, a form of violence that is evident yet overlooked, with statistics clearly indicating its widespread nature. In Il costo della virilità (The Cost of Masculinity), published in 2023, authors Ginevra Bersani Franceschetti and Lucile Peytavin further explore these themes, highlighting the psychological and social costs associated with adhering to rigid masculine ideals. Their work underscores the need for a deeper understanding of how these norms contribute to cycles of violence and the necessity for systemic change to address underlying issues. The case of Federico Venco serves as a poignant reminder of the consequences of these entrenched societal structures. As investigations continue, the focus will remain on uncovering the truth behind the incident and addressing the broader implications of toxic masculinity in shaping individual behaviors and societal outcomes.